Hello there….A pictorial Recap of Today

Hello there … I’m finally back and we’ve lots to catch up on but not today … so whats going on today?

Here is a pictorial recap of today.

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OMG AWESOME overload …. I’m freaking out dude …

This is insanely bad ass but I fear it’s almost like a crossing of the awesome streams and unleashing an incredible marshmallow beast on us …. leaving humanities only hope for survival in the hands of

see more Lol Celebs

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Katy Perry MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It’s all working out according to my plan.

Guess who is going to be playing the today show on August 27th, 2010?

And guess who’s going to be in New York City from August 22nd to August 29th …….

MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

*Note: I’m not really going to stalk Katy Perry no need to contact the secret service or anything …

BUT

I will be in New York City for the next week …. so if you need me you’re SOL!!

CYA SUCKAS

~Le Singe

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The Drug of the Nation

 

TELEVISION!! … I’ll admit I indulged in some tonight, and frankly I saw some disturbing stuff…..

Guess who starring in a new movie ….

That’s right PIRANHAS!! now don’t get me wrong piranhas are pretty rad (albeit very ugly), but are they really enough to carry a whole movie? Furthermore the movie is in 3-D, but piranha’s always work best when they are the unseen terror, don’t they? Where everything looks normal till a water buffalo tries to ford the river and all of a sudden they tear his ass up like 100 Tiger Woods’ would do to some hookers. So piranhas really don’t work in 3-D.

So it looks like the people at comedy central are getting lazy. They are roasting David Hasslehoff. That’s kinda like shooting fish in a barrel isn’t it? Do you really need to roast David Hasslehoff? Hasn’t real life done that well enough already. You know its bad when Hulk Hogan and Pam Anderson are the classiest people there. I guess Comedy Central didn’t get the memo.

Animal Planet is just as bad …

Pit Boss … How did they come up with this one did they write down a bunch of stuff that’s popular right now on scraps of paper and pick two out of a hat … “we got pit bulls and midgets!! run with it!!!”

And while we are on that, exactly how much cocaine did the programing exec’s have to do in their meeting to think that making a show out of the Geico cavemen was a good idea?

I mean someone had to look at this and be like “I think we got a winner here”, and presumably at least a few other people had to agree. UNBELIEVEBLE for the love of god the commercials were getting stale by the time they came out with that….

I think I’m sticking with the internet….

~Le Singe
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Viagra, STDs? … There Are Morons, Damn Morons, and then there’s Journalists.

So to continue our discussion on internet culture this morning we have a perfect opportunity to introduce another internet phrase:

O’RLY? which literally translates to “oh really?” However it is meant with a sarcastic tone so maybe a better translation would be “No F$^%ing S*^&” or “No S#$% Sherlock”

In an older post I documented a perfect example of this where some brilliant scientists were able to link alcohol consumption with aggression Add this to the no sh@t file…...

Today we have yet another get example Men taking Viagra risk sex diseases

O’LRY

It’s almost like they are trying to say that having sex makes it more likely you will get a sex diseases[sic] (I assume by this they mean sexually transmitted disease) but that’s just crazy talk…..

“At a minimum, use of ED drugs seems to correlate with higher-risk sexual behavior, either in the number or type of sexual encounters.”

O”RLY? Wow I hope this researcher got a whole bunch of my tax dollars, money that would have been otherwise “wasted” researching alternate energy sources (ones that might actually work not the BS ones we have now) or paying down the national debt.

The study suggests that 40% of men at some time have ED issues but only 7% seek one of these drugs for it. Of course the people in this small sub-population, the ones who are willing to have “the talk” with their doctor, are much more interested in and/or likely to be having sex. So what this study is telling me is men who are more interested in and/or likely to have sex, and who are physiologically now “able” to have sex are more likely to have sex than the general population….. SLOW DOWN …..

In order for this study to have any meaning at all you would have to assume there was some sort of bias between the innate(i.e. before they had ED) riskiness of men with ED and men without ED which I doubt exist. The reporter even talks about the critical piece of information

This infection rate was higher even in the year before the men got their prescriptions filled, which suggests the risky behavior came first, the researchers reported in the Annals of Internal Medicine.

But fails to mention its significance, imo, because he doesn’t get it…. This statement virtually refutes the entire premise of this article.

This study is saying nothing more or less than if you take a sample from a population of the 15-20% of men with the highest interests in or desire to have sex who also are likely to be able to have sex in the near to midterm (i.e. access to a partner). Then this group will be more likely to end up with the STDs ….. A brilliant conclusion I bet this reporter covered Wall Street in 2007/2008 … I’d go as far as to say this study would only be news worthy if they found men taking ED had the same or less likely hood of getting STDs as the general population.

Lastly as a parting shot I’ve got to really hammer the journalist because the title of the article “Men taking Viagra risk sex diseases” is obviously implying that taking Viagra somehow gives you some type of “Sex Disease”[sic] (do media outlets even hire editors anymore) when the information in the article clearly shows the exact opposite. A much more responsible title would have been. “Having More Interest in / Opportunity to have Sex Increases Your Risk of Getting a Sexually Transmitted Diseases” …. But I guess if you did this people might not read your article, or fund your research …. So to hell with presenting legitimate information let’s stir the pot!! It’s sad really….

Maybe they should study/write about the effect on society of not being able to watch TV for more than ten minutes without having to see a “help my #$%* get hard” commercial.

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Kick Start my Heart – Motley Crüe Best Hair Band Song Ever?

 It depends is “Living on a prayer” – Bon Jovi a hair band song? Bon Jovi is a hair band … “Living on a prayer” is a classic

“Living on a prayer” is an epic tune … when nearly 25 years after it’s release the LSU band plays it and stops playing on the last refrain and you can’t even tell because so many people are singing along that’s saying something. Clearly “living on a prayer” is a better song, but I don’t know if it really captures the essence of what the hair band was all about and “Kick Start My Heart” captures it perfectly. So despite “Living on a prayer” being a better song “Kick Start My Heart” is still the ultimate hair band song of all time. Agree?

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Foul Bachelor Frog

I’m not sure who this foul bachelor frog fella is, who came up with him, what it really means but I do know one thing ….. he speaks to me emotionally and spiritually in a deep and meaningful way.

~Le Singe

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Flight attendant Steven Slater

This post is much better if you listen to this while reading

Every once in a while something happens which causes you to sit back and say I’m glad I lived during this time period so I could see this moment … so I could get to experience this happening … the fall of the Berlin Wall, the Saints winning the super bowl, Michael Jordan playing basketball, a robot going to Mars ….

Well Ladies and gentlemen this Monday when flight attendant Steven Slater told the world to kiss his ass over the PA system then grabbed a couple beers for the road and flew down the magic slip-and-slide to glory, was one of those moments.

Flight attendant’s ex: ‘I do not believe he was rude’ – todaytravel – TODAYshow.com.

NOT because this yahoo is some kind of hero …. that’s retarded. This is a special event because it was the point in history where we, as a people simultaneously realized as we shared this story that we all … every single one of us who has ever had to sit through the airplane “safety talk” …. deep down inside of us has a passionate desire one day slide down that magic inflatable slip-and-slide. If he would have yelled “WHO’S WITH ME” as he jumped I guarantee the plane would have emptied. This event has given us the ability to share this with each other ushering in a new era of peace, understanding, and good will towards all.

I do know one thing his “profanity laced tirade” is probably the most meaningful thing ever said over an airplane PA … you gotta love when the come over it warning you about turbulence … It’s not like I can go anywhere …. and these safety things are B.S. I’ve seen the aftermath of enough plane crashes to know that if the plane goes down it’s really not going to fucking matter if I put my mask or the child next to me’s mask on first. They probably wouldn’t even be able to tell from our body parts scattered over a field, and frankly I think I’d rather be “out” for the impact anyway. I think the late grate George Carlin said it best when he said :

 “In the unlikely event of a water landing . . .” Well, what exactly is a water landing? Am I mistaken, or does this sound somewhat similar to CRASHING INTO THE FUCKING OCEAN!? “. . . your seat cushion can be used as a floatation device.” Well, imagine that, my seat cushion… Just what I need — to float around the North Atlantic for several days — clinging to a pillow full of beer farts…

Unless of course my boy sully is flying the plane.

This event has also caused us to ask ourselves the hard questions like, what was better this or the dry erase board girl …. this b/c it is real.

But back to the lecture at hand or the article I linked above …. they’ve brought in Mr. Slaters ex-wife to offer her insight …..

Susanne told NBC said she first believed their marriage ended “because we were very young — like kids, really. Now I think I know better than that.”

great we’re looking to a woman who married, apparently for reasons other than getting a green card, a man who is a male flight attendant, and who was chairman of JetBlue uniform redesign committee …. we’re looking to her for perceptive insight … luckily she made some great points like:

Speaking with Vieira, Susanne called the incident “a sign of the times. We’ve all stood behind someone abusing a store clerk. I think flight attendants, more so than anybody else, have to deal with these things.

“They are not waitresses of the sky,” she added. “They are there to save your life. They should have that respect.”

Bitch please …. this is the dumbest thing (not spoken by Lady gAgA) I’ve heard all year. Save my life eh …. even though you may feel like you’ll just “die” if you don’t get your hands on a sack of salted nuts in reality there is actually very little risk to your health.

She goes on and on about what a swell fella he is  despite what very one else is saying:

Still, some beg to differ. Before Susanne’s interview, Lauren Dominijanni, a passenger on the Aug. 9 flight that Slater dramatically exited, reported in a TODAY telephone interview that Slater had seemed agitated well before the emergency slide incident. “He had a huge gash on his head; he looked very disgruntled,” she said.

Dominijanni also said that when she asked Slater for an antiseptic wipe to clean up some coffee that had been spilled on her seat, Slater rolled his eyes and said, “Not now, honey; maybe when we get in the air.”

In his defence anyone who would ask specifically for “antiseptic wipe” to clean up spilled coffee on an airline seat is clearly an insufferable bitch … but I’m sure dealing with such people is hardly a rarity in his line of work. Still you start to put it all together:

• He looked “disgruntled”.
• He had random injuries .. gash in the head … a UDW Unidentified Drinking Wound.
• He cussed everyone out.
• Despite being clearly somewhat out of his mind he still prioritized and was able to bring beer with him for the road.
• He left work in a way that not only will get him arrested and fired, but in a way that will make it hard for him to ever get a job again.

(note:Speaking of UDW’s I never got that many of those but my car sure as hell did … actually I should say cars)

You have to sort of say gee this guys sounds a lot like an alcoholic …. lo and behold

Because Slater had revealed on Facebook that he contends with alcoholism and substance abuse issues “one day at a time,” Vieira asked Susanne whether it was disturbing that her ex-husband took beer before sliding down the emergency chute.

… it of course would be no big deal that he left work like he thought he was Bruce Willis in “Die Hard” if there had been no beer involved …

his Ex – wife says:

“I don’t know Steven to have a problem with alcohol or substance abuse,” Susanne replied. “He handled it beautifully if that was the case.”

OR….. or maybe you didn’t notice he was alcoholic like you didn’t notice he was a homosexual … because you’re oblivious and live in some type of fantasy world where flight attendants are on planes for the sole purpose of  saving your life…..

The worst thing is Mr. Slater is riding high now as folk hero de jour, but shortly he is going to find out that folk heroism don’t pay the bills and he seems to have burned his “emergency chutes” behind him so to speak meaning flight attending is also out. So Mr. Slater I have two pieces of advice for you

1. Get sober again we both know there’s a lot worse stuff than this out there…
2. VH1 … strike while the iron’s hot …. don’t get played like the “pants on the ground” guy.

I swear I’ve seen this in a movie before ..

~Le Singe

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It’s All Fun and Games Until … someone FAILS EPICALLY!!

As I said before I love int3rn3t culture and there is nothing more central to internet culture than the EPIC FAIL. So you can do the math …

Looking at a twitter topic #itsallfunandgamesuntil I discovered an epic fail which makes me very happy…

This chicks twitter name is “Tha anti BARBIE” (tha should have tipped me off) so i assume she is a nice young lady who is taking a stand against negative objectifing over sexualized stereotypes of woman. So I look at her profile and her avatar is nothing but a close up of her large most likely silicon engorged breast …..

This defiantly says “anti barbie to me…”  Twitter name fail … OR maybe fun with irony WIN!! (win being the int3rn3t culture antonym for fail)

But this is childs play … In baseball you have the New York Yankees, in banking Goldman Sachs, in basketball the Lakers and the Celtics, and in Failure you have The Failblog go there early and often…

Now here’s a few of my own.

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Man decorates basement with $10 worth of Sharpie – Health – Kentucky.com

This guy decorated the walls of his basement by drawing on the walls with a sharpie. When I first read about it I was like “that sounds kinda white trashy”, but once I saw it I was like WHOAA its pretty awesome. Check it out  Man decorates basement with $10 worth of Sharpie – Health – Kentucky.com.

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