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The Mammary files

February 24, 2012 Leave a comment

 

A gift certificate to the bookstore….. C’MON MAN TITTIES CAN’T READ

Categories: bewbz, Humor Tags: , ,

We’re back on!!!

February 9, 2011 Leave a comment

Katy Perry Held Up in Mexico 

VIVA MAY-HE-CO

I think Katy Perry may have actually redeemed herself yet again. Here we have the side by side comparision of the Jesus tattoo that set me off last time and the california girls. hmmmm….  what the hell WE’RE BACK ON AGAIN!!! By that I mean I plan to start Blogging again so WATCH this space Monkey Business is BACK ON!! Reunited and it feels so good.

Charlie Sheen is up to his old tricks (literally and figuratively), Lindsay Lohan is getting arraigned again, and the domestication of the dog continues unabated….how could we not be BACK ON.

~Le Singe

ummm Vicodin ….? Really…

September 3, 2010 1 comment

Friday so pictures are better than words …. right?

THERE IS A GOD !!! I knew she’d come to her senses sooner or later …(ok this whole thing is getting really old and lame, sorry)

This isn’t that funny or remarkable …. unless you miss read it on first glance like I did:

I was expecting another ‘woe ye the dangers of unprotected sex’ article.

Ummm bad … although it may explain some here-to-fore seemingly nonsensical things.

Are you freakin kidding me …

flowers … okay fair enough I’m not a big fan, but I hear the ladies like them, and even if it’s not really something we like most it at least sounds good. I can go along with this one.

Puppies …. Everyone loves puppies I mean really need I say more this one is a no brainer.

And lastly to finish this wholesome feel good list of things that we americans love ……♫ my country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty…….

..#drumroll please#..

VICODIN ..??!?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK …. are you kidding me …. even if it’s true you can’t say that …. and you can’t say it like that. Listen closely to the words that are coming out of my mouth YOU CAN NOT HAVE VICODIN AND PUPPIES ON THE SAME LIST. This is like one of the fundamental underpinning rules of the universe I don’t care what the list is …. if puppies are on it vicodin is out ….. Unbelievable…

Categories: Humor, WTF Tags: , , , ,

Katy Perry MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It’s all working out according to my plan.

August 20, 2010 Leave a comment

Guess who is going to be playing the today show on August 27th, 2010?

Click to view full size image

And guess who’s going to be in New York City from August 22nd to August 29th …….

kp+wjm

MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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*Note: I’m not really going to stalk Katy Perry no need to contact the secret service or anything …

BUT

I will be in New York City for the next week …. so if you need me you’re SOL!!

CYA SUCKAS

~Le Singe

[tweetmeme source=1billy1 only_single=false]

There is only one thing that can save us from this hurricane now …. yes Katy Perry

July 22, 2010 1 comment

How did you guess? …. I’m not obsessed or anything … somethings are stronger than the forces of nature. Katy will float in on a cloud of cotton candy and “hurricane dispersant” will spew from her jumblees till bonnie is nothing more than an afternoon shower!!

Katy Perry   

Frankly I’ve rested my fate in worse places than the bosoms of Katy Perry more than once ….

Pictures are from this article, ‘You’ve met your match!’ Katy Perry reveals how she tamed Russell Brand – by making him wait for sex

Where Ms. Perry eloquently and wisely speaks about how she tamed Russel Brand … broke his will to do evil etc. by holding out on him for apparently ….. one night …. and less than a week later going to Thailand with him ….

BRAVOOOOOO Katy, well-played indeed. I don’t know much about Thailand, but I do know that whatever goes on there has absolutely nothing to do with mind control through the means of withholding sex …. I think maybe it was Utah you were looking for (or possibly my house but we won’t get into that) ….

I’d have to say I predict years and years of marital bliss for this couple….
[tweetmeme source=1billy1 only_single=false]

Katy Perry and Justin Bieber sitting in a tree…

July 20, 2010 Leave a comment

So I saw this on twitter last night …

See here boy … keep your dirty Canadian hands off my woman …. I’ll cut you fool …

Actually you can’t blame him see in every 15/16ish year old males life there is a time when and older male imparts on him some words of wisdom about girls that smoke cigarettes …

Really how else could he be expected to react?

also this picture Would be great for teaching youngsters and foreigners the concept that sometime in english words can have dual meanings … word such as … smoking …

Or maybe mister Webster could you it to help define idiom.
[tweetmeme source=1billy1 only_single=false]


PWNED updates rapping up loose ends

July 5, 2010 3 comments

I’ve never been one to say “I told you so” (lol ya right), but … I told you so….

0623_lady_gaga_falls_02

It’s times like this gAgA where you have to sit back and do some serious self-analysis and ask yourself the tough questions such as “Would this have happened to me if I was wearing pants?” The obvious answer is hell no, for multiple reasons:

1. There are no pants in the world that you could possibly fit those shoes through, therefore you would not be wearing them which in turn would result in you having a much lower center of gravity making you much more stable.

2. If you were wearing pants it would help put you in a state of mind that more closely resembles sanity. This would help you in several ways including making you more aware of your surroundings and again making it certain that you would not be wearing those shoes

Wearing pants would also have side benefits such as, making you less of a TOTAL asshole to the people who have to sit by you, and making it less likely that you will spread STDs to your fellow passengers ….. seriously crazy costumes on stage A ok, no problem, but you’re at the fucking airport It’s hard enough dealing with the guy with all his worldly possessions stuff into to two giant carry-ons, but those shoes are totally across the line. And who the hell wants their children or their grandmother sitting by someone who looks like they hopped on the plane after a night of working the track …. It would be nice if one day you realized the world doesn’t revolve around you …. it can’t possibly since it revolves around me.

and its time you started listening to me so you stop getting wthpwned like this

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That’s it Katy Perry we are broken up again

When Katy Perry weds beau Russell Brand in India this fall, expect plenty of costume changes. A source tells Us Weekly that Perry, 25, will wear at least seven custom-made Zuhair Murad gowns!

Do you have any earthly idea how much of an asshole you have to be to wear 7 different wedding gowns …. it’s your wedding not a vaudeville show …. or god damn quick change at the halftime of an arena football game. There are people in this world that are starving to death every day and unemployed investment bankers being forced to fly first class and not on private jets. YOU CAN’T F#$%ING WEAR 7 WEDDING DRESS that’s totally out of control …..

uggggghh fuck it we’re back together, but I’m not paying for those f$%& dresses….

Categories: bewbz, Rants Tags: , ,
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