Home > Humor, Rants, WTF > Flight attendant Steven Slater

Flight attendant Steven Slater

This post is much better if you listen to this while reading

Every once in a while something happens which causes you to sit back and say I’m glad I lived during this time period so I could see this moment … so I could get to experience this happening … the fall of the Berlin Wall, the Saints winning the super bowl, Michael Jordan playing basketball, a robot going to Mars ….

Well Ladies and gentlemen this Monday when flight attendant Steven Slater told the world to kiss his ass over the PA system then grabbed a couple beers for the road and flew down the magic slip-and-slide to glory, was one of those moments.

Flight attendant’s ex: ‘I do not believe he was rude’ – todaytravel – TODAYshow.com.

NOT because this yahoo is some kind of hero …. that’s retarded. This is a special event because it was the point in history where we, as a people simultaneously realized as we shared this story that we all … every single one of us who has ever had to sit through the airplane “safety talk” …. deep down inside of us has a passionate desire one day slide down that magic inflatable slip-and-slide. If he would have yelled “WHO’S WITH ME” as he jumped I guarantee the plane would have emptied. This event has given us the ability to share this with each other ushering in a new era of peace, understanding, and good will towards all.

I do know one thing his “profanity laced tirade” is probably the most meaningful thing ever said over an airplane PA … you gotta love when the come over it warning you about turbulence … It’s not like I can go anywhere …. and these safety things are B.S. I’ve seen the aftermath of enough plane crashes to know that if the plane goes down it’s really not going to fucking matter if I put my mask or the child next to me’s mask on first. They probably wouldn’t even be able to tell from our body parts scattered over a field, and frankly I think I’d rather be “out” for the impact anyway. I think the late grate George Carlin said it best when he said :

 “In the unlikely event of a water landing . . .” Well, what exactly is a water landing? Am I mistaken, or does this sound somewhat similar to CRASHING INTO THE FUCKING OCEAN!? “. . . your seat cushion can be used as a floatation device.” Well, imagine that, my seat cushion… Just what I need — to float around the North Atlantic for several days — clinging to a pillow full of beer farts…

Unless of course my boy sully is flying the plane.

This event has also caused us to ask ourselves the hard questions like, what was better this or the dry erase board girl …. this b/c it is real.

But back to the lecture at hand or the article I linked above …. they’ve brought in Mr. Slaters ex-wife to offer her insight …..

Susanne told NBC said she first believed their marriage ended “because we were very young — like kids, really. Now I think I know better than that.”

great we’re looking to a woman who married, apparently for reasons other than getting a green card, a man who is a male flight attendant, and who was chairman of JetBlue uniform redesign committee …. we’re looking to her for perceptive insight … luckily she made some great points like:

Speaking with Vieira, Susanne called the incident “a sign of the times. We’ve all stood behind someone abusing a store clerk. I think flight attendants, more so than anybody else, have to deal with these things.

“They are not waitresses of the sky,” she added. “They are there to save your life. They should have that respect.”

Bitch please …. this is the dumbest thing (not spoken by Lady gAgA) I’ve heard all year. Save my life eh …. even though you may feel like you’ll just “die” if you don’t get your hands on a sack of salted nuts in reality there is actually very little risk to your health.

She goes on and on about what a swell fella he is  despite what very one else is saying:

Still, some beg to differ. Before Susanne’s interview, Lauren Dominijanni, a passenger on the Aug. 9 flight that Slater dramatically exited, reported in a TODAY telephone interview that Slater had seemed agitated well before the emergency slide incident. “He had a huge gash on his head; he looked very disgruntled,” she said.

Dominijanni also said that when she asked Slater for an antiseptic wipe to clean up some coffee that had been spilled on her seat, Slater rolled his eyes and said, “Not now, honey; maybe when we get in the air.”

In his defence anyone who would ask specifically for “antiseptic wipe” to clean up spilled coffee on an airline seat is clearly an insufferable bitch … but I’m sure dealing with such people is hardly a rarity in his line of work. Still you start to put it all together:

  • He looked “disgruntled”.
  • He had random injuries .. gash in the head … a UDW Unidentified Drinking Wound.
  • He cussed everyone out.
  • Despite being clearly somewhat out of his mind he still prioritized and was able to bring beer with him for the road.
  • He left work in a way that not only will get him arrested and fired, but in a way that will make it hard for him to ever get a job again.

(note:Speaking of UDW’s I never got that many of those but my car sure as hell did … actually I should say cars)

You have to sort of say gee this guys sounds a lot like an alcoholic …. lo and behold

Because Slater had revealed on Facebook that he contends with alcoholism and substance abuse issues “one day at a time,” Vieira asked Susanne whether it was disturbing that her ex-husband took beer before sliding down the emergency chute.

… it of course would be no big deal that he left work like he thought he was Bruce Willis in “Die Hard” if there had been no beer involved …

his Ex – wife says:

“I don’t know Steven to have a problem with alcohol or substance abuse,” Susanne replied. “He handled it beautifully if that was the case.”

OR….. or maybe you didn’t notice he was alcoholic like you didn’t notice he was a homosexual … because you’re oblivious and live in some type of fantasy world where flight attendants are on planes for the sole purpose of  saving your life…..

The worst thing is Mr. Slater is riding high now as folk hero de jour, but shortly he is going to find out that folk heroism don’t pay the bills and he seems to have burned his “emergency chutes” behind him so to speak meaning flight attending is also out. So Mr. Slater I have two pieces of advice for you

  1. Get sober again we both know there’s a lot worse stuff than this out there…
  2. VH1 … strike while the iron’s hot …. don’t get played like the “pants on the ground” guy.

I swear I’ve seen this in a movie before ..

~Le Singe

[tweetmeme source=1billy1 only_single=false]

  1. Anonymous
    August 13, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    Haha, we should link articles…i would love to grab two beers on my way out of work after basically telling my prick boss to shove it….but alas, I quit the old-fashioned way….oh, and I LOVE the dry-erase girl, that one was great..

  2. August 13, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    Great post. I liked your line about the ex not knowing he was an alcoholic or gay. She has to be a bit out there. When I saw this story it made me think of Howard Beale in Network, shouting out the window. In fact I’m going back to the post and add that famous little tirade.
    Keep up the good work.

  3. elizabethre
    August 13, 2010 at 5:05 pm

    Dominijanni also said that when she asked Slater for an antiseptic wipe to clean up some coffee that had been spilled on her seat, Slater rolled his eyes and said, “Not now, honey; maybe when we get in the air.”

    And there he is. The twenty-odd year experienced, Jet-Blue board-member drama-queen.

  4. notimpressed
    August 13, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    “… anyone who would ask specifically for “antiseptic wipe” to clean up spilled coffee on an airline seat is clearly an insufferable bitch”? Are you for real? And you don’t believe flight attendants are there to save our lives? You obviously have no idea how much training they undergo, all while hoping they never have to put it to use. Should you ever experience a crash which isn’t fatal to all, I hope the crew tends to the rest of the passengers first.

    • August 13, 2010 at 10:10 pm

      just so no one gets the wrong Idea I have no problem with flight attendants I fly regularly and the have always been 100% professional with me. I’m sure they save people lives regularly b/c of people having heart attacks or women going in to labor. That doesn’t change the fact that imo this is not the “only reason” or even the main reason they are there.

  5. Meme L
    August 13, 2010 at 7:02 pm

    For one thing, when Slater was asked for the antiseptic wipe to clean the coffee off the seat, I read in several news stories online that he replied that he “had to take care of himself first”, as in regards to the fact that he was bleeding. Secondly, several news stories stated that Slater had not had a drink in months and yes he did grab beers on the way off the plane so the whole ‘UDW’ thing is moot. The cut was caused by being slammed in the head by a carry on that whomever she was who argued with Slater to the point of total provation caused by yanking on the bag while Slater was trying to put it back in the overhead compartment because the plane wasn’t stable yet. Whoever this ‘mystery woman’ is apparently was one first class total biotch who would not let up on the guy, as I read again in news articles online. I also read in an opinion piece that had it been anyone else BUT Slater, who for his entire time at Jet Blue always behaved like a total professional, the situation for that woman could have turned VERY ugly. In my own opinion, that particular article was referring to Slater being extremely easy going and also that he is gay. Many gay men, plus again add that for the twenty somehwat years Slater worked for Jet Blue he was always a very consientious professional at his job, and add that woman was SO obnoxious from the time she entered that plane, a straight man probably would have been provoked enough to deck the woman and put her ‘I’m so righteous’ lights out! THAT is how obnoxious she was! I was not there, I only took an interest in the story right off and read everything I saw about it. Evidently, that first class biotch was VERY lucky that Slater, according to elizabethre, is a “drama queen” (aka gay man). Also an FYI: the “dry erase girl” was a set up, NOT true. That too is all over the Internet news. Also, whether or not Slater’s ex-wife knew that he was gay during their marriage has nothing to do with the story and it’s their personal business. I personally could care less if the guy is gay, straight, pink, or purple. I commend him for not decking the REAL ‘drama queen’ who started the whole mess in the first place! I read that the authorities are looking for her and I hope she’s found and that she talks as abusively to them as she did Slater, so that way, once that officer takes her crap and feels like decking her, he’ll understand why Slater took the high road (or the slide in this case) to get the hell away from her to avoid further confrontation. Regardless, had it been me she was abusing the way that she abused Steven Slater, Had she talked to me the way that I’ve read that she spoke to Slater (not to mention the suitcase slam to the head.), I would have fed her that carry on for lunch. She wouldn’t treat any other service people or anyone else at all like that ever again. I read in more than one place that she provoked Slater from her first step on that plane, through smacking him in the head with the carrying on that caused that bleeding wound, and throughout the entire flight. Take 45 minutes of that from ANY woman, from ANYONE, and honestly tell me that he was wrong in any way for what he did to avoid dealing with anymore of it on his way off the plane or once deplaned. I don’t know ANY sane man who would have taken half of what he did and yet here you are cruel and not one bit funny. NOT cool!

    • August 13, 2010 at 10:05 pm

      This guy was on the plane http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2010/08/12/intv.jet.blue.passenger.demeroff.cnn?iref=allsearch

      I don’t think all your “information” is right.

      You need to read more carefully when I say the Slater deal was better than the dry erase girl b/c it was real. I assumed it was obvious I was aware the dry erase board girl was not real.

      several news stories have stated he was seen drinking on the plane during the flight, and some reported he looked disheveled when doing the pre flight talk. Also alcoholics have been known to lie about their drinking … I’d bet you anything he was drinking before he got on the plane.

      Also Slater has only worked for jet blue since 2008 …

      And we are in the post 9/11 airplane era there are no “mystery women” you can bet your sweet ass they exactly who was on the plane and who was around them…

      Don’t you think it’s kind of odd no one has come forward to say that the witnessed this “mystery woman” doing to Mr. Slater what you are describing?

      Here is another quote from someone who was on the plane “”This guy was a like a jerk the whole time, like I’m getting so frustrated with all of these people who keep saying he was a hero because he wasn’t,” said Lauren Wood, a passenger aboard Slater’s flight.

      Passengers on the flight continue to say it was Slater who was rude, from the beginning of the flight right up to his curse-filled rant on the plane’s intercom, and his dramatic exit down the emergency slide he deployed.” from ABC not sure what news you’re reading http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local&id=7606197

      This is also from the same story “As investigators interview passengers, they’re finding out that Slater may have been more responsible for the confrontation than he first appeared. One passenger even says Slater boarded the plane intoxicated. ”

      So like I said read more carefully because alot of your “information” is wrong. NOT COOL! but thank you for commenting.

    • August 13, 2010 at 10:15 pm

      more from that article:
      “Two different stories have come from Slater regarding a gash on his forehead that passengers noticed during the flight. He has claimed the bump came from a hostile passenger hitting him with the door of the overhead storage bin. He has also said that passenger maliciously hit him with her luggage. But not a single passenger interviewed by investigators witnessed a falling bag hitting Slater on the head.”

      this doesn’t seem alittle strange to you?

  6. blackwatertown
    August 13, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    You’re right about brief folk heroism not paying the bills, but the brief celebrity may get him through the rough patch of realising that he’s chucked in his jobs.
    As for the antiseptic wipe to clean up coffee – that’s surely a bit Howard Hughesish.
    Your song’s not bad either.

    • August 13, 2010 at 10:13 pm

      thanks! just to be clear I did not write or perform or origanally post the song if you click you should go the the guy who did its blog.

  7. Jen
    August 30, 2010 at 9:09 am

    good post..great share, great article..love to read it

  1. August 13, 2010 at 5:20 pm

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