For Christ sake would you put some pants on….

So Lady GaGa is someone everyone one has opinions on, and well before this weekend the title of this post has been my opinion of her …. this weekend was simply case in point.

Lady Gaga BANNED From Yankees Clubhouse?

Like the clubhouse as in the baseballs version of a locker room …. Like the place where Ozzie Guillen (a.k.a the greatest American hero ever) set up a blow up doll with strategically placed bats … to help the team break out of a slump. Why the hell not she already did Larry King live I’m sure the club house won’t be anything she hasn’t seen before.

Lady Gaga has been banned from the New York Yankees clubhouse after she was drunkenly slurring her words and groping her breasts while trying to meet players, reports the NY Post.

YOU STILL GOT IT!!…. this is so freaking awesome that despite music that sucks, the fact that her whoowhoo is constantly hanging out in public, her “friendship” with Perez Hilton, and her previously being total euro trash without even actually being European…. Despite all of that she has now catapulted to one of the most epic celebrities ever!!! I mean, hell if you’re gonna do it do it big, don’t waste your time with a bullshit DWI or some horseshit story about how you got kidnapped …. Reach for the stars and get all:

….. drunkenly slurring her words and groping her breasts while trying to meet players, reports the NY Post

You can take the girl out of New Jersey, but you can’t …..

The first article I read on this didn’t even mention Arod, but that was my first thought ‘…she’s trying to meet Arod.’ It just makes too much sense Lady Gaga wants to be Madonna, and Arod used to date Madonna …. He also seems like the type of guy who likes chick’s with an aversion to pants (see striper, Madonna, Kate Hudson etal.).

But after the game (the Yankees lost) Gaga retreated to the team clubhouse drinking Jameson Irish Whiskey, meeting players including Alex Rodriguez, and repeatedly “groping her chest over her jersey.”

Gaga Gaga Gaga ‘beer then liquor never sicker’ *shakes finger at* I just don’t even know what to say other than as you read this article you keep thinking to yourself “it can’t get any better than this”, but it keeps getting better …… I’m weeping openly as we speak.

Sources said Gaga, who left through a private exit, smooth- talked her way past stadium security.

Must be a Crack security team they got working there …. It’s not just anyone who can let a chick …. Who’s been chugging beer …. Then drinking whiskey …. And who isn’t wearing pants … slip right by them. When the Harlem Globetrotters show broke up they must have hired the Washington generals to do security … I mean even Helen Keller would have been on this one …

Still in all how could they have even contemplated banning her …. This sort of thing is what baseball is all about. Hasn’t Big Stein jr. seen Bull Durham (one of the best movie’s of all time). Gaga is simply channeling Susan Sarandon’s character. She is just trying to teach Arod to do jagger shots breath through his eyelids while carrying on a torrid affair with Posada.

It looks like our fair headed heroine has got her own little “subway series” going on.

Lady Gaga Gets to First Base with Chick at BB Game

Lady Gaga Flips Off Cameras, Drinks Beer At Mets Game (PHOTOS)

I guess she has tired of the whole Madonna thing and moved on to impersonating another 80’s star …. Bruce Springsteen aka “the boss” (possibly best nickname ever). Gaga is has been oft quoted saying she is Bi-sexual, and I think this whole thing is really just a big metaphor, yes one big ole drunken metaphor. See she is dressed like a slut (see fishnets the aforementioned lack of pants and the like) chugging beer and whiskey and trolling for baseball players at the Yankees game the “American league”. But cross town she is dressed like Bruce Springsteen … or possibly ‘the fonz’….. Chugging beer whilst making out with a girl at the Metz game the “national league” *tapes nose* get it? 

Whatever just put some f#$%ing pants on please because everywhere I look BOOM I got to see your whoowhoo and I like seeing whoowhoo as much as the next guy, but there is a time and place for everything. Just do the “I think I’m a claymation character in some weird Tim Burton movie” fashion styling singy singy dancy dancy thing. Leave the skanking it up around town for those without any better options *cough* Paris *cough*. 

p.s. I updated my “about” section.