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Festivous for the Rest of US!!!

Cracklin Festival Logo
So I recently Had reason for my online caravan to stop by the OFFICIAL website for the Town of Port Barre, La.!

 … details are sketchy but there is a rumor that they had put a price on my head (the last thing the sheriff said was “… and NO disintegration) for driving above the posted speed limit and not paying the fine or attending court. I’m not able to confirm or deny anything at this time…

Anywho while there I stumbled on to a link that informed me of a very significant cultural event that I here-to-fore had no knowledge of (I’m not very cultured).


Begun in 1985, the Port Barre Cracklin Festival is the major fundraiser for the Port Barre Lions Club.  Attended by thousands of festival goes each year, it is a very important cultural event for the city of Port Barre and St. Landry Parish.

The festival contains all of the usual features found in many Southern Louisiana community festivals.  There is a Queen’s Pageant with fifteen different age divisions, a parade down Main Street, carnival rides for all ages, live musical entertainment from local and regional artists, great food and drinks, and of course, the Cracklin Cook-Off.

The Cracklin Cook-Off is one of the highlights of each Cracklin Festival.  The Cook-Off is not only a test of cracklin cooking ability, but showmanship as well.  Divided into a Professional category for established restaurants and chefs, and an amateur category for people who just love to cook cracklins!  Prizes are awarded for both quality of cracklins, and booth presentation.

THERE IS A GOD!!!!!  I know one thing for absolutely certain, if there is anything in this world that deserves to be honored with a yearly festival its deep-fried pig fat … In case you’re wondering this is a good explanation of cracklins and the author is clearly a fellow citizen of the great state of Louisiana so you can check it out.

Now don’t get me wrong I love the hell out of some cracklins, the kind they sell near Port Barre not the processed crap the sell in  gas stations nationwide, but a festival …. a four freaking day festival …. The fact we are last in so much but are, I think its safe to say, the only place in the universe that has a festival … a FOUR day festival …. honoring deep-fried pork fat wraps up in a nutshell everything that I love about Louisiana. I’m sure lots of places they eat pork cracklins, but based modern thinking on nutrition (which changes every five minutes) most people kinda try to keep the fact that they love eating deep-fried fat on the DL but in Louisiana … Oh hell no … we throwing a party, a four-day festival with bands, contest, the whole nine….

For christ sake there’s even a BEAUTY PAGEANT …. yes you hard me right the festival to celebrate the deep frying of the pig has a BEAUTY PAGEANT and elects a QUEEN!! It’s got to be a somewhat dubious honor to be elected queen of the pig fat frying festival doesn’t it … If you ever moved from the immediate area you’d have to be careful about how you explained that trophy lest people get the wrong idea and think is was some kind of weird fetish thing…

I got to be honest I think this is the most Coon-ass thing I have ever heard of EVER and I’ve lived in south Louisiana for like 30 years …

Look I get it it’s about going out there and celebrating South Louisiana Culture listening to Cajun music, eating good food, and possibly even having a few cocktails. If LSU is not playing at home that weekend (which I’m sure they’re not since everyone in South Louisiana knows that all life in the fall must be planned around LSU football) I might even go, especially if it involves free cracklins ….

which sounds like a recipe for a wide-spread out break of salmonella which would make the pie eating contest scene in “Stand by Men” look like childs play …

But you have to admit you laughed your ass off when you heard there is a Cracklin Festival …. The only way to make this better is if someone could assure me that some type of ‘greased pig chase’ was part of the festivities lol …..


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