Home > Pop Culture, Rants, WTF > The father of the year is back!!

The father of the year is back!!


It takes some serious work to make Dina Lohan aka “white Oprah” the good parent in a family but our boy Mikee-mike is up for the challenge. Michael Lohan: My Fiancee Lies for Money! …. always up for a challenge and apparently always up for some good ole fashion women beating … We all remember this

Dec. 9, 2007: Michael Lohan “slapped Erin in the face twice because Erin accused him of giving her a fake watch on her birthday.

Feb. 2008: Michael “punched Erin in the mouth” because she had a male friend on Facebook

March 2008
: Michael “whipped a computer cord” at her face but she blocked it with her hand … causing a laceration.

May 5, 2008
: Michael “kicked Erin Muller in the ribs.”

May 2008
: Michael “kicked Erin Muller in the vagina, bruising it and causing substantial pain.”

June 2008
: Michael “spit in Erin’s face, and beat her repeatedly with his fist.” Then he “yelled at her to ‘stop crying c*nt — other people will see you — if they see you, I will kill you!'”

The first one is classic because I absolutely guarantee you it was a fake watch lol … and now he is back at it (p.s. these two incidents involve two different women).

Kate continues, “He then turned over the chair while I was still in it, tossing me to the floor.  I crawled to the other side of the room to get away from him.  He walked over to me, took his shoe off and kicked me in my face while I was still on the ground.  He stood over me and said, ‘I’m going to go back to jail cause of you, cause I will kill you.'”

HEY at least he took off his shoe like a gentleman … jesus women can be so demanding and critical ….. 

What does Michael Lohan have to say about all this:

Lohan acknowledges an argument, but denies even touching her.  He says, “Kate has severe drinking problems and she’s jealous of all the people involved in the show.” 

Lohan is putting together a reality show with a cast that includes Rachel Uchitel and Joslyn James.

Ya bad break dude, I think the thing is you are just meeting the wrong kind of women …. I mean the fact that she is not happy about her boyfriend working on a “show” starring hookers who are also porn stars clearly shows that she is as unreasonable as she is crazy!!

LoL whats the “show” going to be called “kate Plus 8” except in this case instead of kids the eight are hookers. But mike “reality show” … porn is about as far from “reality” as you can get so you’re probably going to have to change the branding a bit before going public. (as I’m sure it is obvious to everyone this show does not exist anywhere other than magic Mikes head).

But lets really get to the bottom of this what is the route cause:

Michael says of Kate, “She has no money, no job and she’s been living off of me for the last 8 months … and her dad just cut her off.”  He claims Kate needs money so bad, she would stoop to creating a false story.

It’s always the gold digger isn’t it ….. WAIT what money b/c there’s no freaking way you have any money for her to get …. have you ever even had a job in your life? So as I often do Le Singe will translate this seemingly non-sensical situation for the benifit of you the reader:

Mikie moves in with Kate so he can live off the money she gets from her, most likely wealthy, family (smooth mike is trash but that should not be confused with dumb) after a while Mr. Majors discovers he has been supporting Mr. Lohan financially while Mr. Lohan is banging his daughter (this may well be worse than finding out you have aids) so Mr. Majors does the second most reasonable thing he could possibly do (the first would be to put a cap in mikee-mikes ass, no jury anywhere in North American would ever ever convict you for this) which is cut them off. Now Kate is no longer of use to Michael so the gloves are coming off and sweet ole Mike is gone and psychopathic misogynistic Mike is back and he is ready to cut her lose …. but not before he enjoys a little face kickin ….

What I love is that this guy was trying to get a conservatorship for Lindsey earlier this year … there is only a very very few people who …. like you could count them on your fingers few …. people who would do a worse job of running Lindsey’s life than she has and unfortunately both of her parents are in this group ….

This guy is such total trash … can we just euthanize him like you do a dog that bites people. It’s only a matter of time till he’s back in prison living off your and my dime again … and speaking of prison exactly how many women do you have to beat up these days before they put you in jail? apparently more than two …. well I guess it’s not like the person whose doing the beat was a convicted felon …. wait …. actually it is like that exactly like that ….

~Le Singe

P.S. Mr. Lohan’s attorney replied to this story “My client might be a women beater but at least he’s not a p#$% eater” (no so serious just a parting shot for all you easy fans out there.)

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  1. August 1, 2011 at 10:22 pm

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