Home > Rants > Bachellor Jake has …. Gay Potential? …… do I even want to know?

Bachellor Jake has …. Gay Potential? …… do I even want to know?

Bachelor Jake Pavelka Has ‘Gay Tendencies’: Contestants
Hmmm … where to begin ….

Former ‘Bachelor’ Jake gave ex-fiancee Vienna a variety of reasons for refusing to have sex with her, from his diet to wanting to wait until marriage.

His diet ?…… I can’t even make something up to make this make sense. I’m not sure which is more “gay” the not having sex with her or his reason for not doing so involving his diet, but frankly I’m leaning towards the latter. Now the part about wanting to wait till marriage that is something we can all respect …. I guess ….. (translation: it sounds like the right thing to say, kinda like “downloading porn illegally is wrong”). Hey Jake is just a traditional classy guy who believes in old-fashioned values …. that should have been obvious since he choose find his wife/soul mate/mother of his children/life partner through the use of the modern miracle of reality Tv. Hell reality TV is one of the few remaining bastions of good ole fashioned family values in the world today Just ask the KardASSians or Bubbles. YA so basically that excuses is BS too.

“I think he has gay potential and definitely gay tendencies,” a bachelorette from Season 12 tells Radaronline.com.

“Gay Potential”? WTF is that ? Is it as opposed to “Kenetic Gay” (engineer humor just move along and avert your eyes) …. Does it mean he would make a good gay (what does that even mean and how would SHE know whats a “good” gay as opposed to a undesireable one) ….. I’m just totally lost here …. oh wait maybe this siren of the Reality Screen doesn’t know what the world potential means. She after all was also apparently seeking a soul mate through a process that seems to approximate how ranchers select cattle. ooooooooooooh wait no she was just trying to get some “seki time” going on …. and if you can’t accomplish that in a Reality TV environ regardless of the sexual orientations of the involved parties then there’s something bad wrong with you (maybe she has GAY POTENTIAL also?).

Jake’s childhood friend told Radar, “He’s most certainly not gay.”

“Look at him. He’s the all-American perfect catch of a guy,” the friend said. “There’s a reason why ABC cast him as the most eligible bachelor in America. If he wanted to go out and just get laid by beautiful women, he could, no doubt. But sex to him means and has always meant something. He was that guy in high school that waited for the relationship to deepen before he slept with a girl.”

So by that what you mean is ….. he’s gay …. I get it now. Seriously I mean the PR guy friend  makes a legitimate point that despite societal stereo types not all men are Charlie Sheen or Tiger Woods many of us look for something more before we are ready for BOWCHICABOWBOW or are intimidated to “go for the jugular” straight away BUT…. this logical explanation works right up to the point where you remember THEY’RE FUCKING ENGAGED how much deeper is it gonna get?

So I know what you are saying “Le Singe” you must be one of the people who think that he “putts from the rough”

To that I respond (right after killing myself for having any opinion on this at all) “No, I have no idea if this dude putts from the rough, and I couldn’t careless (beyond it being something stupid to write a blog about), however I think his “preferences” have nothing to do with this story it’s obviously a BS media thing. I think NBC must own the rights to their souls their wedding and since it ain’t gonna happen NBC was like okay, but to replace the lost revenue one of you has to either go to rehab or come out as gay so we can milk this for a little more pub and I guess Jake drew the short straw.”

At one point in time this post was to have a point but I’ve got no idea what happen to it so I’m just going to put it out of its misery.

~Le Singe

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