Home > Rants > This Weeks Sign of the Apocalypse: Jackson Family moves to cash in on bubbles….

This Weeks Sign of the Apocalypse: Jackson Family moves to cash in on bubbles….

Michael Jackson and Bubbles: The Untold Story

Michael Jackson’s sister La Toya Jackson visits Bubbles the Chimp

This is the quintessential moment of …. I can’t decide whether to cry or laugh …. The saddest thing is despite being, in my opinion, 100% for sure a child molester MJ could still possibly not be anywhere near the worst person in his family. La Toya’s heading out to visit bubbles because she’s “misses him” …. So much that she hasn’t seen him in at the very least 6 years probably much longer. I can tell you how the creative process for this show went down.

“ ….. Crap! We just hawked our last sequined glove on EBay, looks like the party is over..”

“Aah look at this picture of Michael and this chimp…”

“CHIMP? …. BUBBLES!!! ….. BRILLIANT …. Someone get the animal planet on the horn STAT”

WATCH! Catch Up With The Kardashians: Kourtney Waxes Khloé’s Vajayjay & Scott Offers Frozen Peas For The Pain!

Are you kidding me …. I’ve seen “donkey shows” in Tijuana that were classier than this (note: I’ve never actually seen the donkey show but it will always be the dream won’t it). What is this family even famous for? I mean I’m not hating or anything it’s just how did they get this gig …. I’d be willing to burn my junk on national TV if the monies right and there’s some soothing frozen produce around, but my phone ain’t ringing … I guess ratings weren’t too good for the show and someone was like “it’s time to pull out the ole burn your poon with hot wax bit”, made famous by similar antics that they tried to use on the last season of “leave it to Beaver” the infamous “burnt beaver” episode.

Well maybe I’m just looking to the wrong places to get my quality entertainment from let’s try the discovery channel:

Discovery Saved My Life

‘Discovery Saved My Life’ is a special one-hour programme (sic) that reveals how several individuals managed to survive deadly situations thanks in part to life-saving tips seen on the Discovery Channel.

I know reality Tv isn’t actually “real”, but this is a bit much. I’ve seen the Discovery Channel, if your life is ever on the line and all you have to fall back on is stuff you learnt on the Discovery Channel, sorry but your fucked….

OK discovery isn’t all about education so maybe I should try TLC aka “The Learning Channel” there must be something that can I use to better myself here right?

I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant

………… What more could you possibly say about this. Maybe the Mayan’s were right …………. 

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