Home > Rants > Alcoholics say the darnedest things…

Alcoholics say the darnedest things…

Charlie Sheen 911 — ‘Car Went … Over the Cliff’.

Not to harp on the same subject over and over, but hell I work with the material I have at hand. So I read this story this week, and I couldn’t help but have this weird feeling you know like you know I had seen this somewhere …. Déjà vu I think they call it. Did this happen to me in a previous life? ooooooohhh wait a minute….

And

Charlie Sheen Left Keys in the Car — Again

Riiiiiightttttttt …. Sooo for the second time in 4 MONTHS Charlie leaves his keys in the ignition of his car, and both times it gets stolen? ….. Both times there just happened to be an opportunist car thief wandering the streets of his highly exclusive GATED neighborhood …. Who just happened on Chucky’s car the TWO times he happened to leave the keys in the ignition? Wait … wait no maybe not it seems like Charlie says someone was stalking his house before/after the first time, “casing the joint”. Someone was risking casing his house in order to steal his car twice just to drive it around and dump it in a ditch somewhere, yes this makes perfect sense (maybe it was Lindsey Lohan I hear she’s had some driving issues). AAAAaaanddd it just so happened to be during a time that Charlie has been known to be “off the wagon”? It kinda reminds me of back when I was a drinker and people kept “smashing in to my car while it was in a parking lot” it was the darnedest thing I had the worst luck….

We’re told detectives are going back to Charlie’s neighborhood later today, to see if surveillance tape at the guard shack shows the car leaving the property.   The guard shack exit is the only way out, but for some reason there was no video of the first heist. 

Pray tell, did the cameras happen to catch chucky staggering strolling back in to the neighborhood on foot? It was reported from a pay phone on Ventura blvd. eh? Is there a museum there? I wasn’t aware pay phones still existed ….. I’d bet you could go to the police station and make a report in person sooner than you could find a pay phone. I guess if you did that then they would know it was you that found it and that wouldn’t be good because we wouldn’t want anyone thinking that maybe you were just drunkenly crashing your cars in to ditches, and walking away to wait for them to be found, and then claiming they were stolen now would we …. That wouldn’t be good for your court cases errr divorce settlement  err reputation now would it?

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