Wal-Mart is dangerously close to being on my list…..
So I’m superfly TnT right now and there’s a few things I need to get off my chest….
But first a few update’s on the life and times of your favorite pontificating primate aka your humble narrator.
I went to the LSU basketball game on Saturday we lost but it was well worth the price of admission in large part due to the half time show……the Dancing girls (I think it’s the ‘golden girls’ but I can’t keep it all straight so we will just call them dancing girls) were wearing purple hot pants and knee high tube socks with stripes….I wept openly….
They also introduced the cheerleaders at half time b/c they placed in some contest and one of lsu’s cheerleaders is named….Sierra Gunn….swear to god…..are you kidding me, I talked to my buddy in Vegas and he says 5 is the over/under right now on years till she is a pornstar.
I’ve been thinking about Chucacabra a lot more than normal recently. I wonder what Dr. Jung would say about that……..I think I just like to say chucacabra…..chucacabra….try it, it’s fun…..
WTF why to they have the blind chick……and I mean legally freaking blind chick…..running the cash register at the DoTD cafeteria…what’s up with that. You can’t find a job more suited for a blind person than running the cash register….
I reconnected with one of the great truisms in life this morning, and that’s…….You ain’t getting far without your car keys….Luckily I found it and the other day I found the KEYZ TO MEH STROGAGE SHED!!!!!!!!! This brings us to the fundamental question, as old as time itself WHY THE F$#@ DON’T I HAVE A KEY CHAIN…….honestly I really think I’m must get some kind of subconscious satisfaction from torturing myself….
…SOoo….like I was saying I’m FREAKIN PISSED…..
This is the second time I’ve been plagued by this in like the last three weeks an its time to stand up and STOP THE INSANITY……I go into Wally world last night at 12:45am to by some bed sheets….why you ask because once I focus in on doing something I pursue it obsessively until either some outside force makes me stop or until my obsessive ‘work’ destroys the whole process…..so ya shopping for sheets I go to checkout…… now they’ve got like 500 checkout at this Wally world and most of them are closed, I understand this its late times are hard so they are cutting back. This is really of no concern to me anyway because I head to the automated checkout like I always do and…….THEY ARE ALL FREAKIN CLOSED…..are you serious…..WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF AN AUTOMATED CHECKOUT IF IT’S NOT ALWAYS OPEN seriously what is the point……are they just there entertain the workers, to let me watch with glee as the machine mocks us in that robotic voice….
*puts bag in cart
“ITEM REMOVE FOR BAGGING AREA…… ITEM REMOVE FOR BAGGING AREA”….
*puts bag back
“TOO MANY ITEMS IN BAGGING AREA……. TOO MANY ITEMS IN BAGGING AREA”….
*begs for robotic forgiveness
“CODE GREEN…..CODE GREEN….SUPERVISOR NEEEDED”….
And then it starts beeping and the siren light on top starts going off like you just won the god dam price its right…..until just as the last remnants of your sanity are slipping away, and long after your dignity is gone, a employee shows up with the over ride code so you can start the hole process over again…..
No uncle Wally this is not why we use the automated checkout….we put up with this when we use the automated checkout so…….wait for it……WE DON’T HAVE TO WAIT IN FUCKING LINE…..however……IT DOES NO FUCKING GOOD WHEN THEY ARE NOT OPEN……I can’t even possibly fathom a reasons why all the automated checks out would not be open…..did then micro chips get together and form a union? Do they have a pension fund that is control by organized crime? Are they next in line to get a huge bailout? We are heading down a dangerous path to terminator (who knew those movies would be so prophetic) we have to draw the line in the sand …..We must, as my good friend Vladimir IIyich said, show these machines “who whom”