Home > Uncategorized > …Thats it, I’m done, EFF all of you……

…Thats it, I’m done, EFF all of you……

Appetite for seduction: BK’s new fragrance….

Burger King’s new Flame body spray offers an eau de meat for men

The way to a man’s heart may be through his stomach, but the way to a woman’s heart — according to Burger King — may be through a new meat-scented body spray. 

If you’re salivating for a chance to marinate yourself in flame-broiled flavor, relax: The experience can be yours for just $3.99 — a small price to pay for some seriously mouthwatering mojo.

“My assumption when I heard about it was that it would smell like french fries and burgers,” said Luis Bejaran, 24, who manages a Ricky’s store on Eighth Street in Manhattan. But, he said, that wasn’t the case. “It’s a combination of Axe body spray, TAG and this YSL cologne I have. It’s one of those scents that’s not sweet, and light at the same time.”

While Bejaran said he would be certainly be willing to set his body a-Flame, his female co-workers were not so sure about its meaty merits. “It’s not the best choice for a man,” offered one.

Still, as of Wednesday afternoon Bejaran says the store had sold at least 10 bottles, and plenty more people had stopped in or called to inquire about it. Many were drawn in by the store’s window display, which currently features “the Burger King guy, half-naked,” said Bejaran. Only four Ricky’s stores were lucky enough to get the “King” special window treatment, however.

It’s true that the reclining, vaguely nauseating Burger “King” does not make for the sexiest spokesperson, but his appeal, like the fragrance itself, may lie in its ridiculousness.

On firemeetsdesire.com, Burger King takes pains make satire of the “sexy is serious” stylings of other fragrance campaigns, offering this description of the scent against a chic black background: “The WHOPPER sandwich is America’s favorite burger. FLAME by BK captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”

As with any decent marketing stunt, the whole Flame campaign has stoked the embers of opinion among fans and critics alike.

“I would not wear it out of principle,” said 23-year-old Mike G., after seeing the slim silver package sporting art of a flaming heart. “It’s from Burger King. I would never wear a cologne from a fast-food restaurant. It actually angers me slightly. I mean, the packaging says heartburn — what are they trying to say?”

Perhaps that beauty — as they say — is in the, er, nose of the beholder.

While fast-food chains aren’t exactly best known for selling signature fragrances, on Sunday The Home of the Whopper rolled out a men’s body spray called Flame by BK. The 5-ml bottles are available for sale in Ricky’s stores in New York City and on a dedicated Web site, firemeetsdesire.com.

HOLY FU……..I MEAN…..ER EM….WHAT THE….ARE YOU FREAKIN….THIS IS…..HOW CAN SONOF A #$%^# #$%@ MOTHER @#%$^&* !#$%^&*%^&($#$%!%#%&^$%^&*^#$!%!@# AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH1111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!111!!!!!!!! 

THAT’S IT, I QUIT, I’M DONE, SEI FINIE, NO MAS I’m not kidding this just totally blew out the last bit of sanity that was left in my brain. Reality has finally totally and completely lost touch with….reality. The only reasonable explanation is that there are a lot more lead pipes in our drinking water distribution system than we’ve been lead to believe, or whatever magical force that brings wireless internet every where is rotting our brains (as I have long suspected). Now I’m going to quit society and go live in a cabin in the woods and occasionally send you guys pipe bombs…..(that is only if I can get digital cable and high speed internet at my cabin of course). I mean I don’t know what this has to do with fast food but it does sound like a good way to get eating by a cougar…..;)….maybe that’s the point….or if the dog is not humping your leg enough for your liking. Really shouldn’t this be a fragrance for woman I find women generally don’t have the type of bloodlust that this product is banking on…..at least in men the scent can conjure up a euphoric recall that will give you some thing to fixate on when she wants to ‘talk’ about ‘feelings’ or whatever else (not so serious here). 

Think some brilliant genius on Madison Avenue who blows lines all day long is making 7 figures to come up with this stuff. Well I’m a non-paid consultant and I’ve got the best possible marketing strategy for burger king…..HOW ‘BOUT YOU MAKE IT SO I CAN GET THROUGH YOUR DRIVE THROUGH IN LESS THAN 20 MINUTES AND LEAVE WITH WHAT I ORDERED IN MY BAG WITH OUT HAVING TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE ACTING LIKE I’M GREATLY INCONVINIENCEING THEM BY SIMPLE ASKING THEM TO DO THEIR JOB…..I mean really the only thing worse than this farce is actually trying to transact business with burger king. I like their food better than McDonalds, but after repeated frustration I refuse to do business with them unless there is no other viable option. 

Furthermore can’t they see popular culture is transitioning from a phase of excess, from Cocaine crazy baroque to heroin chic, whisky bent realism……maybe this would have been slightly better in early 2007. People could have bathed themselves in flamebroiled fabulousness while they flipped houses and drank $7 cups of coffee (although it still doesn’t change the fact that trying to do business with burger king far exceeds anything that is being done to the ‘enemy combatants’ at gitmo).

And lastly this is really dangerous I mean haven’t they seen the Seinfeld where George starts eating pastrami sandwiches while having sex. What this is doing is ‘crossing the streams’ of the seven deadly sins and it’s only a matter of time till a giant marshmallow man comes and destroys us all………

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