Again with the Randemonium

Rachel Uchitel Goes to ‘Rehab’ … for a Price
I wish someone would have paid me $500,000.00 to go to rehab. Hell If it didn’t require me to start drinking and doing drugs again I’d go to rehab again for that, I’m sure there’s plenty going on with ole Le Singe that needs rehabbing …. maybe they should do a “gold diggers” rehab …. maybe if I screwed a professional golfer first. Pikachu I choose U

Then again it’s not like most people have the purest of motives in going to rehab myself included, but yet here we are over ten years later and I’ve been a continuously sober primate so I guess you never know. Therefore I will begrudgingly wish her luck.

Lindsay Lohan Thinks Jail Isn’t a Done Deal
*Makes popcorn pulls up comfortable chair* this should get pretty good over the next few days. According to my watch we closing in on the “train wreck starlet attempts to fake her own death to avoid jail” phase. Lindsey has thus far been nothing if not flamboyant and creative in handling this situation so I’m interested to see how she will choose to pull off this phase of the process. Also I love how like E online is like having a count down … she’s just going to the county for like 3 weeks they are not executing her for the love of god get a grip.

Jeremy London — Needs More Than ‘Celeb Rehab’

How freaking bad off do you have to be to be

….beyond the kind of help “Celebrity Rehab” can provide.

That’s got to be pretty bad, like impressively bad. If you’re beyond the point where VH1 can exploit help you your pretty much at the end of your rope. Maybe try sleeping with Tiger Woods then reapplying?

Ryan Seacrest cleared up rumours this morning that Jennifer Love Hewitt was going to be the next Bachelorette. She will not be. He could be sure of this because Ryan Seacrest himself will be the next Bachelorette …. I mean look at these guys on the bachelorette…

If this guys straight then I’m Abe Lincoln.

Now hear this ….

Was I right or was I right Jeremy London’s Kidnapper: We Partied For Hours, He Took Ecstasy although it’s not like I’m tooting my own horn b/c I simply posted what everyone on the face of planet earth who is not retarded or delusional already obviously knew from the first time they heard this story …. except for apparently the Palm Springs police department …. For christ sake would you please let this poor man out of jail. I’m not anyone who EVER EVER says this and hardly EVER thinks this but this time I have to say it because it’s so blatantly obvious, particularly since it’s Palm Springs ….. If Brandon Adams was a middle class white guy (actually any white guy) he never would have been arrested for this in the first place. The people of Palm Springs should be ashamed of themselves ….. And who is running the police department over there some Glen Beck, Forest Gump, Boss Hog hybrid they’re still investigating like the whole BS story is true. You got to feel at least a little shaky about these guys investigating actual crimes if they can’t deduces what was BLATANTLY OBVIOUS to the entire rest of the world. (Note: my original post on this Here and just as a fyi to further illustrate the point EXCLUSIVE: Cops Called On Jeremy London After Domestic Disturbance; He Sleeps In Driveway good times just keep rolling at the London house hold).

And while I’m at it this Seacrest guy ….. totally … out .. of  … control … someone needs to stop this …. the other day i get in the car to drive home from work and he is on the radio, I walk in the house and turn on the TV and guess what ….. the pecker heads on the TV too ….. later on I leave to go somewhere and when I get in the car guess who’s on the radio …. (I’m not making this up). I’m gone for hours and what’s the first thing is see the second I walk in the door (left the tv on) RYAN MOTHA F^&#ING SEACREST ….. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS. He’s not even a real fucking person, he some type of metro-sexual robot one of James Camrons companies built ….. either that or possibly a liquid metal terminator that’s just bidding his time …. either way I just can’t deal with this guy anymore.

Soooooooo a robot knocked the cap off the leaking Oil well …… What the F#$% was going on down there? …. They filming a new season of “rock-em-sockem Robots”? …. can we get a SCRAM bracelet for that sub …. ? Wasn’t someone like hey while you guys are down there doing … whatever … just be extra really sure you don’t bump in to the thing that’s catching thousands of barrels of oil a day and whats left off our dignity. BP should hire Jeremy London for their PR department. W/E in don’t have the energy to get in to this BS anymore.

click link for story (I didn't even read so don't ask me)

WFT happened here she clearly has an eating disorder or she became a tweeker. For crying out loud she used to be a softball chick (and smoking hot) and no one that looks like that picture above plays Softball. I’m not judging we all have our issues and frankly she has had a lot of crap thrown her way the last few years. But I just hope she realizes that her health and well-being are 100 x more important that anything else and she deals with it.

Dear MIA please STFU …. every time you open your pie hole the world becomes a worse place. Just stick to the singing and looking cool and keep ya trap shut and every things going to be ok … Aight?!? P.S. please don’t give out my phone number to the interwebz (wtf was that are you 12?).

KKTHXBAI

~Le Singe