It’s not jus you Lindsay Lohan there’s a whole lot o’crazyness going on out there.

 

Lindsay Lohan — Plan Calls For California Rehab

Sources close to LiLo say the plan is for her to enter a rehab facility somewhere in Cali so people in her camp can keep close tabs on her progress.

This is good since thus far these parsites, leaches, pushers, and pimps “people in her camp” have done such a good job of taking care of her and keeping her going in the right direction….

Burst beaver dam closes highway for 3 hours.

OTTAWA — Damn beaver dam.

The beaver’s reputation as an expert engineer took a beating Wednesday night after a dam let go and flooded Highway 60 north of Whitney, forcing police to close the highway for several hours.

how’s the bean counter’s decision to out source the provinces engineering to the rodent world looking now …. as and engineer I’ll take this opportunity to laugh as you come crawling back.

Man Accused Of Bashing ATMs With Ax

Wilson said the suspect told police he found the ax near a trash container at a nearby bar. He also told officers he’s been under a lot of stress, police said, and made a mistake by vandalizing the ATMs.

Vandalizing eh? I’m sure his target selection had nothing to do with the tons of cash inside ….. I remember the good ole days when this was called armed robbery.

Lundar resident faces charges over 911 calls

A 33-year-old resident of Lundar, Manitoba is facing numerous charges after allegedly making a series of 911 calls which included demanding RCMP officers somehow bring the National Hockey League back to the province.

GOTTA SUPPORT THE TEAM … this is still better than face painting …. frankly as a fan sometimes you just get pushed too far.

“He had apparently been drinking and told police he hadn’t slept in days. He started talking about world conglomerates, things like that. He was hallucinating, obviously,” said the source.

Here’s a shocker I figured that this guy was a tea-tolling father of the year who was driven be his deep seated passionate involvement in his community who was clearly aware of the fact that when you’ve been drinking and haven’t slept in days (aka drinking and doing meth) is the ideal time to interact with law enforcement….

Cheating German couple fall from window during sex session

A CHEATING couple who fell from an apartment window during a secret sex session suffered broken bones and head wounds.

The man and woman, who were not named, fell about five metres from the first floor apartment, in the German city of Lubeck, German newsite Bild.Com reported.

The woman, who is married to another man, insisted the pair were not having sex, despite reports from neighbors who spotted the couple in action before their tumble.

“We weren’t having sex. We were just fooling around. I can’t remember the fall anymore,” the woman told the paper.

In a bizarre twist, the clumsy lovers were taken to the same hospital where the woman’s husband was recovering from his own fall – from a roof a few days earlier.

I guess no one was really paying attention at the last family “safety meeting” where always being tied off and wearing your harness was discussed … she can’t remember but she remembers for sure they weren’t having sex … fooling around …. sorry you’re not Bill Clintoning your way out of this one. I doubt the husband cares this couple obviously is in to some perverse shit that’s way more out there than adultery.

Le Singe

Again with the Randemonium

Rachel Uchitel Goes to ‘Rehab’ … for a Price
I wish someone would have paid me $500,000.00 to go to rehab. Hell If it didn’t require me to start drinking and doing drugs again I’d go to rehab again for that, I’m sure there’s plenty going on with ole Le Singe that needs rehabbing …. maybe they should do a “gold diggers” rehab …. maybe if I screwed a professional golfer first. Pikachu I choose U

Then again it’s not like most people have the purest of motives in going to rehab myself included, but yet here we are over ten years later and I’ve been a continuously sober primate so I guess you never know. Therefore I will begrudgingly wish her luck.

Lindsay Lohan Thinks Jail Isn’t a Done Deal
*Makes popcorn pulls up comfortable chair* this should get pretty good over the next few days. According to my watch we closing in on the “train wreck starlet attempts to fake her own death to avoid jail” phase. Lindsey has thus far been nothing if not flamboyant and creative in handling this situation so I’m interested to see how she will choose to pull off this phase of the process. Also I love how like E online is like having a count down … she’s just going to the county for like 3 weeks they are not executing her for the love of god get a grip.

Jeremy London — Needs More Than ‘Celeb Rehab’

How freaking bad off do you have to be to be

….beyond the kind of help “Celebrity Rehab” can provide.

That’s got to be pretty bad, like impressively bad. If you’re beyond the point where VH1 can exploit help you your pretty much at the end of your rope. Maybe try sleeping with Tiger Woods then reapplying?

Ryan Seacrest cleared up rumours this morning that Jennifer Love Hewitt was going to be the next Bachelorette. She will not be. He could be sure of this because Ryan Seacrest himself will be the next Bachelorette …. I mean look at these guys on the bachelorette…

If this guys straight then I’m Abe Lincoln.