It’s a Small World … Message in a backpack?

So turns out smoking is not as fun as I remembered it to be so I have to go back to the drawing board for a new plan.

While I’m doing that you can amuse yourselves by watching this extremely awesome video of one of my pardners jimmy “wildlife” (or “Cricket” if ya nasty) who found a backpack that had floated all the way from Cuba to Louisiana …. It would have been cooler if there would have been a couple of Kilos in there (not really) but c’est la vie.

P.S. he has requested that Stephanie Abrams from The Weather Chanel explain to him how the currents work to make something float from Cuba to the Bayou so if you have a link …. holla at ya boi.

Now hear this ….

Was I right or was I right Jeremy London’s Kidnapper: We Partied For Hours, He Took Ecstasy although it’s not like I’m tooting my own horn b/c I simply posted what everyone on the face of planet earth who is not retarded or delusional already obviously knew from the first time they heard this story …. except for apparently the Palm Springs police department …. For christ sake would you please let this poor man out of jail. I’m not anyone who EVER EVER says this and hardly EVER thinks this but this time I have to say it because it’s so blatantly obvious, particularly since it’s Palm Springs ….. If Brandon Adams was a middle class white guy (actually any white guy) he never would have been arrested for this in the first place. The people of Palm Springs should be ashamed of themselves ….. And who is running the police department over there some Glen Beck, Forest Gump, Boss Hog hybrid they’re still investigating like the whole BS story is true. You got to feel at least a little shaky about these guys investigating actual crimes if they can’t deduces what was BLATANTLY OBVIOUS to the entire rest of the world. (Note: my original post on this Here and just as a fyi to further illustrate the point EXCLUSIVE: Cops Called On Jeremy London After Domestic Disturbance; He Sleeps In Driveway good times just keep rolling at the London house hold).

And while I’m at it this Seacrest guy ….. totally … out .. of  … control … someone needs to stop this …. the other day i get in the car to drive home from work and he is on the radio, I walk in the house and turn on the TV and guess what ….. the pecker heads on the TV too ….. later on I leave to go somewhere and when I get in the car guess who’s on the radio …. (I’m not making this up). I’m gone for hours and what’s the first thing is see the second I walk in the door (left the tv on) RYAN MOTHA F^&#ING SEACREST ….. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS. He’s not even a real fucking person, he some type of metro-sexual robot one of James Camrons companies built ….. either that or possibly a liquid metal terminator that’s just bidding his time …. either way I just can’t deal with this guy anymore.

Soooooooo a robot knocked the cap off the leaking Oil well …… What the F#$% was going on down there? …. They filming a new season of “rock-em-sockem Robots”? …. can we get a SCRAM bracelet for that sub …. ? Wasn’t someone like hey while you guys are down there doing … whatever … just be extra really sure you don’t bump in to the thing that’s catching thousands of barrels of oil a day and whats left off our dignity. BP should hire Jeremy London for their PR department. W/E in don’t have the energy to get in to this BS anymore.

click link for story (I didn't even read so don't ask me)

WFT happened here she clearly has an eating disorder or she became a tweeker. For crying out loud she used to be a softball chick (and smoking hot) and no one that looks like that picture above plays Softball. I’m not judging we all have our issues and frankly she has had a lot of crap thrown her way the last few years. But I just hope she realizes that her health and well-being are 100 x more important that anything else and she deals with it.

Dear MIA please STFU …. every time you open your pie hole the world becomes a worse place. Just stick to the singing and looking cool and keep ya trap shut and every things going to be ok … Aight?!? P.S. please don’t give out my phone number to the interwebz (wtf was that are you 12?).

KKTHXBAI

~Le Singe

again with the monday……

this site is pretty freaking great….. http://unhappyhipsters.com/ I always love finding great sites like this if you know more feel free to leave comment or get in touch with my “people” (aka facebook or twitter).

“House shark….Just when you thought it was safe to ride your bike in the whitefolk neighborhood again..”

So here we are its Monday morning we’re all back to letting to neon light suck our life force out to make a few more dollars for the man….oil is gushing unabated into the marsh lands of our state….Jimmy Dean died, I’ll never be able to eat a sausage biscuit the same again……tom cruise didn’t die…..and when I walked outside this morning it was soooo hot it knocked me back into the house. ***seriously how can it be so hot so early in the day and so early in the year (if anyone says global warming I’ll kick you in the shin) can we get a little volcanic winter action going on or maybe another one of those ice ages…something

Basically we are all in need of something to help us out this morning…..I’ve got just the trick SIDE BOOB…yes we allllll know side boob we all love side boob…everyone….I’m sure even gay men love side boob because it’s well…..side boob. Side boob has inspired me so much this morning that not only have I risen above the afore mentioned malaise I’ve even decided to attempt to take my rightful place next to Samuel Johnson, Merion Webster, and Flava Flava by creating my own phrase thus bettering all of the English speaking people of the world. With the aid of my assistant Ms. Lohan, I’d like to present my creation to you, Lindsay if you would be so kind…

Inside boob…..drool******…yes inside boob it’s like side boob VIP. Its 100% pure awsome mixed with win…..use its power to make it through another manic monday….

Fashionably late!!

Sooooo……I think I’ll give the ole blogging think another try…..of course you know what happened the last two times I said that…..w/e that’s all in the past. IT’S A NEW DAY and it’s time to turn over a new page on what’s bound to be another ultimately unsuccessful attempt at blogging so let’s GIT-R-DONE shall we.

I’m sure you noticed the title and the reason for that is I’ve decided to become a fashion blogger…..

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!……obviously I’m the most unfashionable person on the face of the earth….BUT….there are a few things I need to get off my chest.

As I’m sure you know the Japanese Prime Minister resigned last week. Supposedly it was over some deal with an US Air force base, but all I’ve got to say is YOUR NOT FOOLING ANYONE:

Seriously….are you kidding me…..you can’t run a waffle house wearing that shirt much less a major country. Don’t get me wrong I’m not suggesting Japan forced him to resign because he was seen on international TV wearing the Amazing Techno Colored Dream FLANEL SHIRT. What I am suggesting is Japanese tradition forced him to commit ritual suicide because he wore that shirt while representing his nation on international TV. He was forced to resign because some people felt his being dead might get in the way him doing his job….then again from what I’ve seen out of governments worldwide recently it might have actually been better…..

Least we get to cocky ourselves remember this could be our next president…………….

….Some things actually make ritualistic suicide seem not so bad……there is not enough cyanide in the world to deal with a commander and chief that wears Ed Hardy…..at least if the politics thing doesn’t pan out she can make a seamless transition into pitching her idea for a “real housewives of Alaska”

Its bad enough we have to deal with this guy:

See here jackass you’re talking about an oil spill and possible war in the middle east and Korea YOU CAN’T DO THAT WEARING A LIME GREEN FUCKING TIE…..#$%# #^%#$^# mother @#%$@#$…..SERENITY NOW….again a dead leader really wouldn’t be that bad we’d get about as much done as we are now and since…..dead people, in my experience, tend to be less image conscious than the living,  they don’t need these dapperly styled spin sessions….. we wouldn’t have to put up with assholes like this who apparently dressed himself….to go on INTERNATION TV AND TALK ABOUT SERIOUS SHIT…..while having a flashback. If you’re trying to sell me a used car then fine I got no problem with that tie but the GOVERNMENT is supposed to project it’s self in a different light than A FREAKIN USED CAR SALES MAN. It’s like bozo the clown informing you your grandma died….bozo was a hell of a clown but some things just have a time and place……and giving a contentious press conference  about serious stuff is not the time or the place for a LIME FUCKING GREEN TIE.

I’ve been hearing Miley Cyrus getting a lot of crap in the media lately for dirty dancing, kissing girls, and other all around skankyness. So I think I need to take a moment to remind everyone of something:

So let me say this outloud so I can get it straight in my head….this guy is wearing a leather tuxedo jacket that I think he made out of his baby mama’s couch with a bow tie, tuxedo shirt, a cummerbund and…..drum roll….JEANS!!! YEEEMUTHAFUCKINGHAWWW!!!! And to top it all off he’s got one of the greatest mullets of all TIME. This photo is represents a truly great moment in the cultural history of our nation….it should be placed alongside the “American gothic” and the Andy Warhol soup can thing.

Now I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that the woman that chose to procreate with this refined gentleman is not exactly Grace Kelly or Jackie O. So it’s kind of like what Jeff Foxworth said “….when you combine raw sewage with stagnate pound water you don’t end up with Evian…”. Don’t blame Miley it’s not her fault. Frankly the fact she has managed to remain childless up to the legal age of consent is a major victory.

Never the less it’s only a matter of time till she’s bald headed and beating on someone’s car with an umbrella….bad for her….but good for the rest of us since the cast of Jersey Shore can only stay out of trouble long enough to give us one maybe two more seasons and I will need something else to make me feel better about myself after that….

And lastly I will end on a positive note and a positive fashion comment. I’ve been intrigued by La Roux ever since seeing the video and getting Bulletproof stuck in my head. So looking at her/their website I followed a link to what turns out to be her stylist’s blog (her name is Nova Dando www.novadando.com) and quickly realized that she ts without a doubt the raddest person evah, if you doubt that I present you with this:

Here she is captured by paparazzi running late to a meeting or some such (i.e. candid not a photo shoot). I’m not being sarcastic I love to see creative people do their thing and frankly working as an engineer and therefore with a bunch of engineers we could really use a little of this in our work place.

So that is all, hopefully it won’t be another year before I update again….

as ever,

Le Singe