For starters I’m currently fighting this urge to start every sentence I type with “Soooooo” and it’s driving me mad I need to work on my intro’s.
Sooooo I like modern art (don’t get it twisted I’m not an expert on it at all but I do like it) and recently I was in New York City. If you like modern art and are in NYC that means MOMA (Museum Of Modern Art). I’ve been to this museum before a few times and have always thought it was c’est magnifique. This trip not so much, I should have known it was a bad idea when I got there and the line was around the block. I was going to leave when I noticed the line was moving really fast so I decided I’ll giver-a-go. Only too late did I realize that the reason the line was moving so quickly was that they were packing people in there at a rate that would make even a European soccer fan weep ….. Actually this can’t be true because I saw no one weeping, and I was just about the only SOB in the place that spoke english. Apparently all of Europe goes on vacation in August and most of them were at the MoMA the day I was there.
It is totally impossible to enjoy an art museum with this many people in it. At first I was like god Europeans are rude b/c people kept walking in front of me, and the like, but then I realized I was doing it to other people and it became clear that there was just way too many people for everyone not to constantly be in each others way. Honestly they need to cap the amount of people they let in at one time. I paid $20.00 to get in, I would have gladly paid $40.00 for there to have been even 25% fewer people there. It is true that part of the problem was it was rainy that day, but honestly they need to cap it on days like that, or raise the price.
But this was not even the worst thing. The MoMA is broken up into sections there is stuff on design, architecture yada yada yada, but when you go to a museum like this you are primarily there to see amazing works of art that you can only see there. For this reason, to me, there are only 2 sections that really matter, there are modern art paintings from 1870 to 1940 in one section and from 1940 to present in another. These two sections are the “meat” of the museum. I saw the first section and then as I got to the 1940 to present floor started to look around and I discovered IT WAS CLOSED … #$%^ &*@# $#^&* this means in essence that HALF the museum was close which in my refined artistic opinion is total horse shit. What was even more infuriating about this was that this was the first I heard of it being closed. Don’t you think that the fact that HALF the museum is CLOSED is information the consumer would like to have prior to making their purchasing decision? …. yes, yes it is. They couldn’t put a sign on the door stating this? W/E
However the above long-winded rant really has nothing to do with this post …. hAhA …. What really is the subject at hand is as follows, walking through the gallery I can across this painting.
I don’t really like this painting, it’s not really my thing, so why post it? Because sitting directly below this painting was ….
All I can say is holy crap, this kid was like 4 years old and he was sitting there like he was the only person in the world making this sketch. That is pretty freaking amazing … like pinball wizard status. I desperately looked around for his parents because at a time like this there is only one obvious thing to do. Offer the kid $100.00 for the sketch and then get a photo with him and the drawing to prove it is authentic. I don’t know what exactly is going to come out of this guy in the future but what ever it is it’s going to be some epic shit … maybe it will be great art, or maybe he will be the next Newton or Einstein, or maybe he will be the next Hitler or whatever. Bottom line anyway you slice it many years from now this drawing is going to be worth a lot of money … and I want in on the ground floor. But alas it was not to be, opportunity lost.
Then I thought wait maybe there is another way to cash in … I didn’t actually see the kid draw it, what if he didn’t. I could adopt hire a bunch of kids, get a starving artist to do a few sketches, have the kids go sit in various museums like this with the sketches, wait for people to buy them from the kids, and sit back and watch the money roll in. BRILLIANT I smell early retirement!! So next summer when your kids are out of school annoying the crap out of you get them out of your hair and send them to CAMP LE SINGE. Where for a small fee they’ll get a top-notch education in the arts, business, and preying on people’s vulnerabilities. It’s the opportunity of a life time DON’T MISS IT.
Guess who is going to be playing the today show on August 27th, 2010?
And guess who’s going to be in New York City from August 22nd to August 29th …….
*Note: I’m not really going to stalk Katy Perry no need to contact the secret service or anything …
I will be in New York City for the next week …. so if you need me you’re SOL!!