Archive
The Mammary files
A gift certificate to the bookstore….. C’MON MAN TITTIES CAN’T READ
We’re back on!!!
VIVA MAY-HE-CO
I think Katy Perry may have actually redeemed herself yet again. Here we have the side by side comparision of the Jesus tattoo that set me off last time and the california girls. hmmmm…. what the hell WE’RE BACK ON AGAIN!!! By that I mean I plan to start Blogging again so WATCH this space Monkey Business is BACK ON!! Reunited and it feels so good.
Charlie Sheen is up to his old tricks (literally and figuratively), Lindsay Lohan is getting arraigned again, and the domestication of the dog continues unabated….how could we not be BACK ON.
~Le Singe
ummm Vicodin ….? Really…
Friday so pictures are better than words …. right?
THERE IS A GOD !!! I knew she’d come to her senses sooner or later …(ok this whole thing is getting really old and lame, sorry)
This isn’t that funny or remarkable …. unless you miss read it on first glance like I did:
I was expecting another ‘woe ye the dangers of unprotected sex’ article.
Ummm bad … although it may explain some here-to-fore seemingly nonsensical things.
Are you freakin kidding me …
flowers … okay fair enough I’m not a big fan, but I hear the ladies like them, and even if it’s not really something we like most it at least sounds good. I can go along with this one.
Puppies …. Everyone loves puppies I mean really need I say more this one is a no brainer.
And lastly to finish this wholesome feel good list of things that we americans love ……♫ my country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty…….♫
..#drumroll please#..
VICODIN ..??!?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK …. are you kidding me …. even if it’s true you can’t say that …. and you can’t say it like that. Listen closely to the words that are coming out of my mouth YOU CAN NOT HAVE VICODIN AND PUPPIES ON THE SAME LIST. This is like one of the fundamental underpinning rules of the universe I don’t care what the list is …. if puppies are on it vicodin is out ….. Unbelievable…
Katy Perry MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It’s all working out according to my plan.
Guess who is going to be playing the today show on August 27th, 2010?
And guess who’s going to be in New York City from August 22nd to August 29th …….
MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*Note: I’m not really going to stalk Katy Perry no need to contact the secret service or anything …
BUT
I will be in New York City for the next week …. so if you need me you’re SOL!!
CYA SUCKAS
~Le Singe
There is only one thing that can save us from this hurricane now …. yes Katy Perry
How did you guess? …. I’m not obsessed or anything … somethings are stronger than the forces of nature. Katy will float in on a cloud of cotton candy and “hurricane dispersant” will spew from her jumblees till bonnie is nothing more than an afternoon shower!!
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Frankly I’ve rested my fate in worse places than the bosoms of Katy Perry more than once ….
Pictures are from this article, ‘You’ve met your match!’ Katy Perry reveals how she tamed Russell Brand – by making him wait for sex
Where Ms. Perry eloquently and wisely speaks about how she tamed Russel Brand … broke his will to do evil etc. by holding out on him for apparently ….. one night …. and less than a week later going to Thailand with him ….
BRAVOOOOOO Katy, well-played indeed. I don’t know much about Thailand, but I do know that whatever goes on there has absolutely nothing to do with mind control through the means of withholding sex …. I think maybe it was Utah you were looking for (or possibly my house but we won’t get into that) ….
I’d have to say I predict years and years of marital bliss for this couple….
Katy Perry and Justin Bieber sitting in a tree…
So I saw this on twitter last night …
See here boy … keep your dirty Canadian hands off my woman …. I’ll cut you fool …
Actually you can’t blame him see in every 15/16ish year old males life there is a time when and older male imparts on him some words of wisdom about girls that smoke cigarettes …
Really how else could he be expected to react?
also this picture Would be great for teaching youngsters and foreigners the concept that sometime in english words can have dual meanings … word such as … smoking …
Or maybe mister Webster could you it to help define idiom.
PWNED updates rapping up loose ends
I’ve never been one to say “I told you so” (lol ya right), but … I told you so….
It’s times like this gAgA where you have to sit back and do some serious self-analysis and ask yourself the tough questions such as “Would this have happened to me if I was wearing pants?” The obvious answer is hell no, for multiple reasons:
1. There are no pants in the world that you could possibly fit those shoes through, therefore you would not be wearing them which in turn would result in you having a much lower center of gravity making you much more stable.
2. If you were wearing pants it would help put you in a state of mind that more closely resembles sanity. This would help you in several ways including making you more aware of your surroundings and again making it certain that you would not be wearing those shoes
Wearing pants would also have side benefits such as, making you less of a TOTAL asshole to the people who have to sit by you, and making it less likely that you will spread STDs to your fellow passengers ….. seriously crazy costumes on stage A ok, no problem, but you’re at the fucking airport It’s hard enough dealing with the guy with all his worldly possessions stuff into to two giant carry-ons, but those shoes are totally across the line. And who the hell wants their children or their grandmother sitting by someone who looks like they hopped on the plane after a night of working the track …. It would be nice if one day you realized the world doesn’t revolve around you …. it can’t possibly since it revolves around me.
and its time you started listening to me so you stop getting wthpwned like this
That’s it Katy Perry we are broken up again
When Katy Perry weds beau Russell Brand in India this fall, expect plenty of costume changes. A source tells Us Weekly that Perry, 25, will wear at least seven custom-made Zuhair Murad gowns!
Do you have any earthly idea how much of an asshole you have to be to wear 7 different wedding gowns …. it’s your wedding not a vaudeville show …. or god damn quick change at the halftime of an arena football game. There are people in this world that are starving to death every day and unemployed investment bankers being forced to fly first class and not on private jets. YOU CAN’T F#$%ING WEAR 7 WEDDING DRESS that’s totally out of control …..
uggggghh fuck it we’re back together, but I’m not paying for those f$%& dresses….
Dear Katy Perry, I Can’t Say Mad at You!
Now it’s no secret that KatyPerry and I had a falling out ….. well maybe it’s a secret to her since she doesn’t even know we are an “item” but that doesn’t make it any less true (does it?) ….. now where was I oooooh ya for a long time I was able to look past her less than awe-inspiring music due to exhibit A [see above]. But this “California Girls” song is so craptastic and yet at the same time so ubiquitous that I nearly had to kick her off “Team Le Singe”. But then Katy comes back and does something like this and TOTALLY redeems herself. Katy Perry Topless: Strips For Esquire UK (PHOTO). Frankly Ms. Perry is getting pretty close to lifetime pass status, but she’s still going to have to kick it up a few notches to make up for the whole “Russel Brand” thing.
Sooooooooo in the interest of pursuing this lofty honor, Ms. Perry your mission, should you choose to accept it is to find gAgA who you’ve recently had a spat with …. I’d suggest you start your search near the bar in either Yankee stadium or TARP Field err Tax Payer errr CITI Field.
NOTE: I find absolutely NO as in ZERO irony in the fact that someone who uses pictures such as the above to “Promote Their Album” would chastise some one else for “cashing in on blasphemy” …. therefore I won’t even be mentioning it.
Back to the lecture at had …. So once you locate her you will attack her …. however as described by Seinfeld in the ”Summer of George” episode this attack will seamlessly segue into … girl on girl yada yada yada.
Anywho the main point of this post is to let everyone know that due to Exhibit A [see above] you’re probably not going to be seeing me for a while … but don’t worry unless it gets to be like September and you still haven’t heard from me, then spend a rescue party … make sure they wear BioHazard Suites … just saying …
again with the monday……
this site is pretty freaking great…..
http://unhappyhipsters.com/
I always love finding great sites like this if you know more feel free to leave comment or get in touch with my “people” (aka facebook or twitter).
“House shark….Just when you thought it was safe to ride your bike in the whitefolk neighborhood again..”
So here we are its Monday morning we’re all back to letting to neon light suck our life force out to make a few more dollars for the man….oil is gushing unabated into the marsh lands of our state….Jimmy Dean died, I’ll never be able to eat a sausage biscuit the same again……tom cruise didn’t die…..and when I walked outside this morning it was soooo hot it knocked me back into the house. ***seriously how can it be so hot so early in the day and so early in the year (if anyone says global warming I’ll kick you in the shin) can we get a little volcanic winter action going on or maybe another one of those ice ages…something
Basically we are all in need of something to help us out this morning…..I’ve got just the trick SIDE BOOB…yes we allllll know side boob we all love side boob…everyone….I’m sure even gay men love side boob because it’s well…..side boob. Side boob has inspired me so much this morning that not only have I risen above the afore mentioned malaise I’ve even decided to attempt to take my rightful place next to Samuel Johnson, Merion Webster, and Flava Flava by creating my own phrase thus bettering all of the English speaking people of the world. With the aid of my assistant Ms. Lohan, I’d like to present my creation to you, Lindsay if you would be so kind…
Inside boob…..drool******…yes inside boob it’s like side boob VIP. Its 100% pure awsome mixed with win…..use its power to make it through another manic monday….
