Flight attendant Steven Slater
This post is much better if you listen to this while reading
Every once in a while something happens which causes you to sit back and say I’m glad I lived during this time period so I could see this moment … so I could get to experience this happening … the fall of the Berlin Wall, the Saints winning the super bowl, Michael Jordan playing basketball, a robot going to Mars ….
Well Ladies and gentlemen this Monday when flight attendant Steven Slater told the world to kiss his ass over the PA system then grabbed a couple beers for the road and flew down the magic slip-and-slide to glory, was one of those moments.
NOT because this yahoo is some kind of hero …. that’s retarded. This is a special event because it was the point in history where we, as a people simultaneously realized as we shared this story that we all … every single one of us who has ever had to sit through the airplane “safety talk” …. deep down inside of us has a passionate desire one day slide down that magic inflatable slip-and-slide. If he would have yelled “WHO’S WITH ME” as he jumped I guarantee the plane would have emptied. This event has given us the ability to share this with each other ushering in a new era of peace, understanding, and good will towards all.
I do know one thing his “profanity laced tirade” is probably the most meaningful thing ever said over an airplane PA … you gotta love when the come over it warning you about turbulence … It’s not like I can go anywhere …. and these safety things are B.S. I’ve seen the aftermath of enough plane crashes to know that if the plane goes down it’s really not going to fucking matter if I put my mask or the child next to me’s mask on first. They probably wouldn’t even be able to tell from our body parts scattered over a field, and frankly I think I’d rather be “out” for the impact anyway. I think the late grate George Carlin said it best when he said :
“In the unlikely event of a water landing . . .” Well, what exactly is a water landing? Am I mistaken, or does this sound somewhat similar to CRASHING INTO THE FUCKING OCEAN!? “. . . your seat cushion can be used as a floatation device.” Well, imagine that, my seat cushion… Just what I need — to float around the North Atlantic for several days — clinging to a pillow full of beer farts…
Unless of course my boy sully is flying the plane.
This event has also caused us to ask ourselves the hard questions like, what was better this or the dry erase board girl …. this b/c it is real.
But back to the lecture at hand or the article I linked above …. they’ve brought in Mr. Slaters ex-wife to offer her insight …..
Susanne told NBC said she first believed their marriage ended “because we were very young — like kids, really. Now I think I know better than that.”
great we’re looking to a woman who married, apparently for reasons other than getting a green card, a man who is a male flight attendant, and who was chairman of JetBlue uniform redesign committee …. we’re looking to her for perceptive insight … luckily she made some great points like:
Speaking with Vieira, Susanne called the incident “a sign of the times. We’ve all stood behind someone abusing a store clerk. I think flight attendants, more so than anybody else, have to deal with these things.
“They are not waitresses of the sky,” she added. “They are there to save your life. They should have that respect.”
Bitch please …. this is the dumbest thing (not spoken by Lady gAgA) I’ve heard all year. Save my life eh …. even though you may feel like you’ll just “die” if you don’t get your hands on a sack of salted nuts in reality there is actually very little risk to your health.
She goes on and on about what a swell fella he is despite what very one else is saying:
Still, some beg to differ. Before Susanne’s interview, Lauren Dominijanni, a passenger on the Aug. 9 flight that Slater dramatically exited, reported in a TODAY telephone interview that Slater had seemed agitated well before the emergency slide incident. “He had a huge gash on his head; he looked very disgruntled,” she said.
Dominijanni also said that when she asked Slater for an antiseptic wipe to clean up some coffee that had been spilled on her seat, Slater rolled his eyes and said, “Not now, honey; maybe when we get in the air.”
In his defence anyone who would ask specifically for “antiseptic wipe” to clean up spilled coffee on an airline seat is clearly an insufferable bitch … but I’m sure dealing with such people is hardly a rarity in his line of work. Still you start to put it all together:
- He looked “disgruntled”.
- He had random injuries .. gash in the head … a UDW Unidentified Drinking Wound.
- He cussed everyone out.
- Despite being clearly somewhat out of his mind he still prioritized and was able to bring beer with him for the road.
- He left work in a way that not only will get him arrested and fired, but in a way that will make it hard for him to ever get a job again.
(note:Speaking of UDW’s I never got that many of those but my car sure as hell did … actually I should say cars)
You have to sort of say gee this guys sounds a lot like an alcoholic …. lo and behold
Because Slater had revealed on Facebook that he contends with alcoholism and substance abuse issues “one day at a time,” Vieira asked Susanne whether it was disturbing that her ex-husband took beer before sliding down the emergency chute.
… it of course would be no big deal that he left work like he thought he was Bruce Willis in “Die Hard” if there had been no beer involved …
his Ex – wife says:
“I don’t know Steven to have a problem with alcohol or substance abuse,” Susanne replied. “He handled it beautifully if that was the case.”
OR….. or maybe you didn’t notice he was alcoholic like you didn’t notice he was a homosexual … because you’re oblivious and live in some type of fantasy world where flight attendants are on planes for the sole purpose of saving your life…..
The worst thing is Mr. Slater is riding high now as folk hero de jour, but shortly he is going to find out that folk heroism don’t pay the bills and he seems to have burned his “emergency chutes” behind him so to speak meaning flight attending is also out. So Mr. Slater I have two pieces of advice for you
- Get sober again we both know there’s a lot worse stuff than this out there…
- VH1 … strike while the iron’s hot …. don’t get played like the “pants on the ground” guy.
I swear I’ve seen this in a movie before ..